mind of a manchild

My son leaves at 6:00 in the morning now. Baseball season just around the bend and workouts begin early with strength,agility, bonding with friends, I suppose.

Yesterday, as the routine goes, he eases from the bathroom to the kitchen, to the door; bat bag, book bag, duffel, scrubbing against the wall as he exits with a grunt sound as reply to my “Be careful,love you.” I listen as the engine starts and find myself straining to hear as I know he’ll be singing along to the radio. I close my eyes, open my hands and give him to God as I pray for confidence,smiles, and good things.

My day then moves to focus my mind on devotion and ritual; but, interrupted by a call. Looking down I see the picture of Austin, incoming call and as does the mind of a mama, I anticipate bad. Yet, I hear, “Hey, I left my Psych project on my desk; can you drop it off?” So, I hurry down the hallway and grab the sketch. I lay it on the countertop and am all at once emotional.

The drawing, a silhouette of my handsome son, a diagram of his brain was a chance for me to understand the connectedness of him and to be connected to him. So, I hurry and adjust my morning and I proudly deliver the drawing to his school, smiling and thrilled to be needed, blessed to be connected.