Where is the daylight?
Abbie and Colt have both nestled back in.
Moved from sleeping place to lounging place.
Both loud sighs intermittent with snores as I journal God’s word.
Day 8 of Jabez. A challenge today.
Not embracing my morning, more like a lazy, slack rebellion of morn.
Requesting of God to be blessed, to be kept safe, be kept from the evil of bad things, choices, even bad thoughts, this is my prayer now.
Lethargic and zombie-like, I ache as I move towards the coffee for cup number 2.
Feeling 54 this morning, sounding 74 as I grunt upon rising.
Back to bed would be reasonable, not an option.
Heather suggested, I agreed. Still, we navigate the morning.
Her gathering to leave, Austin still in bed. Quiet house, dark and tucked in.
She murmurs “Bye” as she leaves in pitch black to teach precious minds, anxious to know things.
Yesterday, I looked towards the sky, wondering what mama would say…longing to know somehow.
Day is opening up now and I am slowly, unraveling blips of my colorful disconnected dreams, 3 scenes.
I woke, half-heartedly, the anesthesia of dreamwork…of hidden away pieces of mental ramblings on life on family.
Dreams of what-ifs and what might not.
Mama was there, in a dream about a big house overlooking fields.
Giving advice, talking up a storm. Being Bette. Colorful, loud, laughing.
Now, I see!
Wholeheartedly, I see.
The thoughts unwound, I can move to morning.
The sky has turned to a light grey-blue and birds have awakened, chirping sharply, rhythmically.
Austin rises. I reach for pen and journal and wait for bright sunlight.
Sunlight, like glory, like beginning again!
His mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3:23