I’m not one to toss and turn. If I’m troubled, I go to bed.
Say to myself, tomorrow will be another day.
Then, place one hand on my chest and pray.
Silently, easy like water traveling a slow path to a broad river.
With morning and time come newness.
The sky was a wide expanse of cold, pale lavender today.
Its width cloudless and open. Enough open space to learn.
An expansive sky, with just a faint glimmer of sunlight in tall tree.
My eyes rested there and remembered my earlier revelation.
I hurt someone’s feelings trying to be right. Looking for answers to a question already known with certainty. I have a few sayings.
One of them is never ask a question you know the answer to.
Asking for trouble. Not answers. Asking to be right when being right makes no difference in the hurt, adds harm to hurt.
I was self-righteous. Smug, hot-headed and determined to point of the wrong in another causing hurt that was never intended.
I begged God to fix my mistake. Not the answer you need, said God.
The answer is seeing, truly seeing.
Epiphany, in an insightfully clear sky.
The manifestation of Christ in me, with me despite errant will.
Looking down, it’s still there. I thought of adding to my collection earlier, decided to let it rest instead.
A petite pine cone, stiff with the cold and shining silver in brown straw.
And I smiled, remembering gifts of baby pine cones she brought.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Psalm 139: 1-8