It happened again this week. Crazy, sort of thing, this place and time that a thought comes and becomes more.
The same tree-lined block just before I make the left turn towards work, a thought so clear, a revelation really, it happened and I’ve stored it up as truth.
This time, as powerful as the time before when God gave name to his plan for me, called it “treasure”.
I’ve not let that go.
But, on a morning that caught me off guard by its bitter tone, I hear again; God in response to my heart’s soft question.
Are some days more tender?
Are there moments, mornings and whole stretches of being that the heart’s wide open with raw remembering calling to be healed?
Or do we allow unaware, the covers thrown back, inviting bravely the attention needed to be well?
Yes, Lisa there are, healing is a process. Move through it, you are healing.
Not like falling back into deep pit of pity, it’s quite beautiful, really.
No need to cause alarm or wondering “Oh, are they okay?”
The hardest lessons are the ones we must accept about ourselves and our flaws.
They’re revealed in the hurts of our histories or then eased into acceptance of mislaid plan or controlling lives of outcome gone off in different directions, not always bad ones…
Just ones we didn’t design.
We make boldly confident declarations about what we’d not do, let happen or ever have come and take up space in our homes, in our hearts.
Happenings, mishaps and missteps make you live out your cliche of “but for the grace of God I go there” when, oh Lord…you realize you are there.
Oh, the humbling reality of proud, mislaid lives.
You went there and now you’re on the cusp of beautiful other side…
Until, again somehow
tender places in my heart, like skin rubbed off my baby toe because I wore the fancy shoes, the rawness reopened to be healed.
Oh, I remember now, it was me who opened it up again…one exchange of truthful word.
I remember now the cause of tender sting.
I spoke up for another when the question was posed, “How does a smart woman like her stay in that abuse?
I answered with an answer I believe some never knew me by…
“Seven years, mind control, isolation and thrown against a wall more times than I can remember. God is good though, he kept me here for a beautiful purpose I don’t yet fully know. Hard to comprehend unless you’ve been abused.” Me
So, some days, the heart’s more tender, the wound more open and the realization of vulnerable more palpable.
Open, truthful and gracefully well.
”Tis grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved.” Amazing Grace