It was audible. The whole house, empty and I’d heard it once already. A peaceful type awakening of thought wrapped up securely, held safely down deep.
The bottom of the soul’s well, causing a welling up.
That’s what a sigh sounds like, I believe. A bringing up to our surfaces, the soul’s regrets, letting them see the light and to leave us better, leave us in peace.
John was born for that, to show others Jesus as peace, Jesus as redemption, not regret.
Someone saying they had so much more to say and I remembered my regret.
My “ohh” came out all gravelly like the sides of my heart somehow roughed up the edges of my words and my voice was a sad sigh tarnished by memory.
I remembered regretting coming back home that night. And I remembered what I said by her bed.
I sighed, my understanding audible.
My voice muffled by the knot in my throat as my daughter shared what her friend said her husband said, his father gone before he had the chance to say more.
I sighed; but, not for long, I listened instead, stopped my taking of another’s grieving thunder.
My sigh changed then, from oh I know to hopefully more, I understand.
Same morning, I’m thinking of what I missed finishing the day before, good intentions stolen by circumstance and once again, I regretted not painting, not writing, not following through.
I opened my little book called “Joy and Strength” to the place chosen for the 2nd of March.
And again, the sound of sigh, this time a sigh of affirmation and of hope.
This one, “Ohhh”, more like “oh, my goodness, oh, my soul,
Oh, how amazing, oh, the love of God”
I sighed, “oh” again, the sound softer then, a validation.
I believe that love reigns, and that love will prevail. I believe that He says to me every morning,
“Begin again thy journey and thy life; thy sins, which are many, are not only forgiven, but they shall be made, by the wisdom of God, the basis on which He will build blessings.”
“Oh”, I sighed, a prayer, again today.
Heavenly Father today I begin again.
Steady my heart, give me opportunity to remember and sweetly sigh, “oh” as I walk along the path of peace that you have made so amazingly free and possible despite my past sins worthy of many regrets.
In Jesus’ name and because of mercy.
I’m afraid I never can finagle all my thoughts into words in five minutes. I’ll link this post with the others though. I’ve already read so many very good posts on regret from others, I’m joining the conversation.