Returning

Hello June and coffee, black.

Strong, yes, coffee and I!

Today, I’m doing something new because I was close to returning to something old.

I’ve never been to the Krispy Kreme, the new one in town. Everybody goes and today being called “Donut Day” and makin’ it nationwide, the line’ll be backed out on the busy street.

This is a place that had police directing traffic for about a week when they opened grandly.

Seriously.

I’ve never even been, I boasted with an air of pride and obvious sense of accomplishment that I had not gone crazy over the doughy glazed delights.

Yet.

Instead, I was whippin’ my car back towards home, one hand in my Chick-Fil-A kid’s meal bag and the other on the wheel.

I had my nuggets strategically in my lap and the little sweet sauce restin’ in the middle, dipping and driving, crammin’ waffle fries in my mouth.

But, hey I never stopped for donuts.

Women and food. Women and wine. Women and secrets.

Eating in the car, eating only lettuce, driving through drive-thrus and bags hidden under our seats or declining dinner, no, I’m not really hungry then tearing into bags of salty things washed down with red wine or water or Coke, or thick chunky peanut butter on thick bread washed down with cold milk…

Food, drink, secret indulgences, everything eventually not ever in moderation.

Feast or famine, go with or completely without.

Occasionally gettin’ close to being mocked by my choices.

Then gettin’ shamed, then again gettin’ strong!

We “git right”.

Today, I begin a new thing. I have had one cup of coffee, no cream, and no sugar.

I’ve read the book. I’ve bought the journal to help me track the challenge. I am doing the Whole30 reset.

I’ve seen the recipes. I’m prepared with my shopping list.

I’m praying I’ll be disciplined and the self-discipline will be the greatest challenge.

You see, I, maybe you, a woman with a whole lot on her plate and on her mind, I am courted by the fancy comforts of indulgence.

I’m coaxed into believing some things I just deserve.

I’m not hoping now, for weight loss or for even, a glowing complexion.

I’m hoping, in 30 days I’ll have stayed on track, won’t need a redo and that I will return to a place of health and wellness I haven’t known in too long a time

That I’ll not return to the places I went before, secret eating, secret living.

So, hello June and coffee, black.

I’m ready, 30 Days, Whole.

My prayer,

God, help me be disciplined. Help me return more closely to me and to thee.

“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A temple for you, my body.

Least I can do is maintain it…keep it clean and untainted by secret ingredients.

The place where my treasure lives, I’m believing it’s gonna begin to be more clear.

Honest and true, disciplined anew.

Maybe you too.

I’m prompted by the word “Return” which originally had me thinking I’ll just tell how I’m hoping to return my body to health.
   

I’m returning to rest.

“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15 ESV

I’m afraid it’s impossible for me to write “unbravely”.

Lord help me; but, I have a hard time not telling my story,

my healing from disorder, eating and other.

Visit Five Minute Friday here: http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/05/31/fmf-link-up-return/

14 thoughts on “Returning

  1. I love this, Lisa. You go, girl! You are so right. Our bodies are a temple and I also struggle with self-control. You inspire me — and I’m going to pass on that donut! (Visiting from FMF and so glad I did.)

  2. Hey girlfriend, I’ll be praying for you during this journey. I’m a Weight Watcher and love their program. I’m also an emotional eater and, unfortunately, I’ve been self-medicating on food this past few weeks because of some very tragic events in my family. So … I hear ya! In fact, believe it or not my sister-friend, I read and wrote about Isaiah 30:15 this morning too. We are SO much alike 🙂 God will honor your sacrifice as you do it unto Him.

    • I am thankful for you. I feel your prayers. I told a dear friend that I feel God designed this plan for both my daughter and I because I’m afraid we both will surely benefit from the no wine. There’s a very fine line on what’s admissible but so easily a slippery slope into being controlled and compromised. I have a dear friend who is not a Christian. I shared with her the verse in Proverbs about being “mocked” by wine or “brawled” by strong drink (her daily choice) and she was so moved by this truth! I worry about being honest here, worry that women with a stronger walk will be shocked. I just know my story is someone else’s. I am in a transformative phase right now. I’m not giving up though.

      I will pray for your family. I so appreciate you.

  3. Thanks for sharing your story. I love that you’re taking on this challenge and I’m praying for the self-control and perseverance to see it through. Getting more control of my eating is something I need to work on to and you’re inspired me to think about how to do this. Your FMF neighbour at #33.

  4. Thank you for this post. It is very inspiring. I especially like that you shared this verse.

    A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”
    ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25:28‬ ‭NLT

    It’s definitely something to give some thought to. I know I need to deal with some eating issues as well.

  5. Lisa, I love your focus on the spiritual side of moderation with food. Having been rescued from the deep of eating disorders, I treasure moderation in all things now. God’s word is good, and He fills my cup with satisfaction so my other appetites behave themselves.
    Blessings ~ Wendy

  6. I’m not super familiar with Whole30 – although I certainly have heard much about it. But a return to healthy..a reset, as you say sounds very profitable. And needed (for me). Especially after my Krispy Kreme doughnut last evening:(

    Thanks for the words to chew on – no pun intended!

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