I’m good at neither rushing nor resting.
I concoct purposeful and passionate scenarios of diligent sticking to something and going long and hard without a break.
I imagine myself contentedly uninterrupted, a book in my lap.
But, both elude me.
Both take practice, commitment, a chance to see the benefit.
Going ahead without allowing hesitation or giving myself reprieve, permission to chill.
I’m sitting home alone, it’s Sunday and it’s sunny. The cool air of the night before has the rooms faintly fresher and the shift of the season quite clear.
Captivated by the book in my lap, “Becoming Mrs. Lewis” by Patti Callahan and tea in a pretty cup, I told myself read a chapter and then go, write a chapter.
Seemed like a good plan, inspirational, my content might flow more freely.
But, I’m three chapters in and still reading. This is a gift, this is a pleasure I’d long thought gone, being pulled in and unable to set a thick book aside.
Now, I’m rethinking the ambition of writing new chapters or layering abstracted thick color on a new something I started.
Instead, I’ll keep reading and when my eyes get heavy, I might dose or I may rise to walk the trail before the sneaking up of sunset.
I may look for them again, the tiny blackbirds up high in an old oak or the surprise sighting of seven or so cardinals all gathered together, red dots bouncing and bobbing against the green.
What I have started I will finish, I’ll come back and I’ll continue.
Fearlessly, faithfully what has begun will continue.
“Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance.”
Jude 1:2 NIV
Giving myself a little mercy, peace and love on a sunny Sunday.