I have an unfulfilled desire to be a swimmer, strong and freeing I long to be the one swimming laps at end of the day in our pool.
I long to be a singer too, one of those people with no concern over those around me or before me, just belting out a lyric from the bottom of my belly and resting my hand at my heart as I am fulfilled in the joy from within.
I’ve heard both are possible, with training and time and I tell myself it’s surely a crazy desire, Lisa Anne.
Clearly, you have more than enough on your plate! I’ll stick with art and words for now, come June I may try swimming again. I will.
Two things are pending, waiting for me to take a grand plunge and with time and training get them just right this time.
I won’t grow if I don’t continue to try. This one thing I do know.
I am the most ill equipped marketer when it comes to marketing me.
I’m embarrassed to ask for help and I get all bent out of shape when I believe people can’t believe I cannot figure it out on my own.
This is my perception.
When it comes to confidence in myself in this area I have none.
But, I am committed to trying.
I will update my blog today or tomorrow, keep my name on the front end, the uncomfortable place that says find her, read her words, and I’m adding a Sunday evening newsletter to all who want to hear my thoughts at end of the day, the end of a week. I know what I want to call it and I feel God leading me to what he wants me to say.
I may change my confidence, it may not say “quiet” or “confidence” at all.
I just need to continue. It may say continue.
I’ve deleted my art page. It had only three followers 😊 and I’ll incorporate hopefully a more professional look with links to connect interested buyers.
Yes, today I will begin, hopefully be complete by tomorrow.
I get confused over confidence the more I travel this writing and painting road. I make it bigger than it is, the challenge of trying and then following where God wants it to go.
Look it up, the dictionary says confidence depends on ourselves.
That can’t be so.
If it’s all me it becomes either reward or rejection and it goes back to being all about me, chubby little brown haired girl longing to be noticed.
I love the words to this song that keeps circling back to find me:
Whether I sink, whether I swim
Oh it makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head…Jenn Johnson
A song about abandoning fears and longing to see just how far we can go when we believe and allow God to lead.
Continue and believe.
Paul met Jesus and he knew where his life would go. Absolutely and unwaveringly he acknowledged his fear, his failures, his past violent offenses and he kept on, kept on walking the way He was called.
I don’t believe any of us should go through life without coming to a point where all we truly want to know is
God, where do you want me to go?
“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.”
Ephesians 4:1 NLT
May my efforts be worthy of what continues to feel like my calling.
I’ve written for more than five minutes as I am inclined to do. But, these are my thoughts on confidence and I’ll share with others here: