It was a good weekend. A Saturday stroll with the dog home with my son for the weekend, my daughter doing well, her mood and her cheeks have a beautiful “baby glow”.
Monday came and by the end of the day in a matter of about 45 minutes, the mood in my heart’s room, in my thoughts, deep in my soul turned.
I tried to make sense of my jittery breathing, the aching sense of deep hole in my soul.
It was a piling up of things, a compilation of wonderful and woeful things.
I saw a woman at “TJ” who looked like my mama. I found a photo of me with my newborn daughter. I began to wonder if I could ever be as good a grandmother as she was to my daughter, my son. I asked my son for a second hug before he returned to his adult abode and world.
I held on to the dog and then watched as he walked towards the door, as if saying, “this is not my home”.
My paintings unsold, all laid out earlier on the floor.
There was a conversation about my age.
All over the place things left me no space.
Stole the joy of my day. Took my breath away.
That’s it. Now I understand.
I had no vacant space to catch my breath, no time to let it settle.
Simple, just too much on my plate!
And then kindness occurred.
A friend understood, she has felt the same and then more kind words of three or four others.
I expect to rest well this evening.
My soul, my thoughts and my body.
Will take time for balanced breath.
A honey-like pouring rhythm of soft exhales.
“Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
Proverbs 16:24 NLT