…and in thee too, while thou knowest it not, God shall be glorified. E.B Pusey
We ventured out differently, not sure the sun was warm enough for walking.
I carried my granddaughter in my arms and adjusted from one side to the other, her weight as we walked.
We covered the perimeter of the land that surrounds her home, all the way to the front of the home valley to the long length of shaded space beside and then turned back towards inside, the front porch welcome back home.
From a distance it was beautiful, I walked slowly avoiding large flat places where cacti lay and stepping gingerly over the little hills, the holes, the tiny valleys covered in grassy hay and straw.
We walked slowly, quietly, calm.
Elizabeth was still, interested as I talked to God and myself. She listened to my random observations of life and leaves and how blue the sky was.
We were noticing God.
On the edge of the field, the most brilliant of color caught my eye, a cluster of yellow amongst all the bare branches of what I think I’m remembering held pink plums in the summer.
Now empty except for this glory.
Brilliant late beauty not killed by the cold.
How was your 2019?
I woke with the thought mine was monumental, the change, the choices, the transitions.
I hadn’t realized the truth of this until I numbered the reasons.
Then it all made sense, this feeling of the cusp of new, this current lull in nothingness.
I believe I’m in the season of growth with all the growth still unseen, not evident to the human of me.
I’m always afraid I misuse words so I googled “monumental” and affirmed my thoughts were true.
2019 was a monumental year for me. I thought maybe this is God’s reason to now shift to living momentarily or “momentously”.
Thinking be satisfied in the moments now, don’t aspire to great big life shifting ambitions.
Again, checking my use of word, I was met with surprise, “momentous” I had all wrong, very different than only living in the moment.
All right, really.
(of a decision, event, or change) of great importance or significance, especially in its bearing on the future.
Reflecting now, God is confirming boldly for me, one who loves words, things have been happening under the surface, deep in your spirit, my spirit in you that you do not yet fully know.
You’re getting closer though. God
Beginning to believe that it is so.
That you are known and
you are worthy of my love.
The years before are simply seeds that needed sifting, needed dormant seasons, needed to lay fallow for a reason,
needed to die to live again.
I believe this.
Are you in a lull that you question? Is where God has you insignificant from your view?
Asking, is this all there’s meant to be for me?
It may be so and that’s the reason for long walks and discovering seemingly insignificant things like yellow leaves.
We simply don’t know, we just keep walking to the place called “we will see”.
We will see.
I’ve added back to my circle today one prayer I thought I’d prayed way too much.
Have you felt that way? Thought after months of the same unanswered question, I’ve asked enough, I’ve told God more than He wants to know, I’m maybe even annoying Him.
I’ve prayed and He knows, I’ll move on…
I’ll let that prayer alone.
No, I’ve decided to pray it again, to ask for God’s help but with a different tone.
I’ll ask with an expectant spirit anticipating a brilliant “we shall see” surprise, an answer that says I’m cherished.
God’s reply, unknown to me when or how. I’ll be cherishing it because I am cherished as is the one for whom I’m making my steady request.
If you believe in prayer at all, expect God to hear you. If you do not expect, you will not have. God will not hear you unless you believe He will hear you; but if you believe He will, He will be as good as your faith. Charles Spurgeon
Continue and believe.
Momentous days are now, the brilliance is coming!