I woke up and remembered, I had the very best dream.
I told my grown up children, with me because of our beach vacation.
We were all together the night before. They both know my ways. My son, for years slept across the hall, sometimes heard my night terrors. Morose recollections typically triggered by the slightest unintentional fear created dramas in my sleep.
So, when like a breath of fresh clear air, I had an optimistic dream, I had to tell them.
The night before we’d all sat together around the table. Adult children joining in conversation about Co-Vid, the election, the changing world known as America.
My son-in-law shared a video being shared all around. A county or city meeting somewhere in Florida and an invocation to something, anything other than God that led to six or so people standing and leaving.
The person giving the invocation prayed to nature and the earth and the only mention of Jesus was that he “might” forgive us.
I wasn’t particularly bothered by the video, I’d been in similar meetings, I told them.
I recalled a time I chaired a coalition I initiated to understand the issue of homelessness. I added that a member of the coalition decided each meeting should begin with a “good thought”, a sort of prayer.
I told my family, I never left the room, I simply did not bow my head. I did not join in the prayers that forbade the mention of Jesus.
Then I said to them,
It’s really going to be different for your children, an effort really to keep talking about Jesus.
Then my husband added that it will be okay, our parents probably felt the same worries.
Then we all said goodnight and exhausted from heat and beach went to bed.
I dreamt of a group regathering. I must’ve been invited as if a charter member or ex-officio sort of thing.
Three days after the dream, the details are skewed.
Like a reunion, we all spoke of what we’d been up to.
I stood in front of twenty or so people and I talked about my relationship with Jesus. I told the people who prayed the prayer excluding God and Jesus why I prayed differently.
I’d been with these people before. This time I felt welcome.
I felt free to be me.
I spoke with clarity. They were enthralled and actively listened. In the dream, there were men and women encircling me, attentive.
I recalled my days of being afraid of God, of being certain of my unworthiness, my days of working hard as a teenage peddler of paper booklets called tracts. I convincingly told of my God whom I believe in.
Someone, a well-dressed theologian sort asked,
“When did you decide to believe in God?”
In the dream I answered “about twenty years ago”.
And the questioner added, “that’s a long time, a long time…where are you now” as if I shouldn’t still be increasing my believing.
And I answered.
I’m just still growing and I’ll keep growing in my knowing of God.
It was the best dream. I’d been in meetings, spoken to large crowds, detailed our need for support and hinted occasionally of my faith.
But only hinted.
Tonight after unpacking sandy beach coolers, clothes and stuff, I had a good walk and thought of the dream that sang of freedom.
As I walked, I opened my palm easily upward to heaven and I thought, prophetic dream.
Not having a clue if that’s a possibility of me…for me.
My friend says these are not the days to lean into Jesus, rather these are the days to press ourselves to Him.
I couldn’t help but think of impression, allowing God’s impression to be made on me.
No longer overthinking it, not being afraid of it not being true.
Simply believing that it is just as Jesus said, He is the way. He is the answer to His Father’s plan so we have hope, experience peace and eternity with Him.
Google the sinner’s prayer or search the Bible or if you’re fortunate like me, a kind voice will tell you if you ask how it can be…
“Just pray for mercy.” they may answer.
Understand you were born a sinner, admit it. Confess that realization in a prayer to your Creator and then believe in Jesus and keep believing despite the world finding it irrational or a silly offensive fairy tale.
“Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6 NLT
Allow Jesus to begin your transformation, as you press in.
Left forever, that mark like a print from an original masterpiece making.
Four days without journaling other than scribble marks with the baby, I read my Bible this evening.
“Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.”
Deuteronomy 13:4 KJV
These are old words with timely discovering by me.
Cleave, to unwaveringly believe.
Cleave, not a word you might use usually.
This is me. This was me in my happy dream, being brave and contentedly certain of being loved by God, cleaving.
And God loving me.
Say your prayers and sweet dreams.