“Let them come to me for refuge; let them make peace with me, yes…”
Isaiah 27:5 NIV
This morning I wrote three pages worth of notes without lifting my pen. This practice, “morning pages” is something I’d heard about and thought maybe.
I am often stubborn as a student, slow to be trained by the wisdom of others.
Yesterday, the entire third page chronicled grace, the preceding two were questions of self and God.
Today, I expressed my confusion over my cat, “Georgia” suddenly and frantically obsessed with the water in my painting jars.
I tracked her movement as my pen moved swiftly blue. Committed to this morning pages practice, day two, I found a lightness in my thinking, a sweetness in allowing the freedom to write about my “just fine Georgia” cat.
She’s frantic and sneaky, moaning in her meowing to get my attention. I wonder if she knocked over the jar on my desk and drank the blue muddied water.
I continued to examine the meaning behind her behavior and transitioned to make it relatable to mine.
Unsettled seeking it seems we have in common. We have a frantic inquisitive nature and little patience with lingering question, longing for fulfillment.
I’d become apathetic about writing. Ambivalent, not just yet because I’ve not lost my love for creativity, just wondering if I’m still able.
Page three of three today asked God about delay, delay in the question I keep asking that remains unanswered.
The more I asked the question in all sorts of way, I began to feel attended to, I began to be okay with not yet knowing, instead continuing while waiting.
I settled down and ended page three wishing there were space for more.
Pages lined with swirly words and Georgia settles. Help me to settle, God. Resting. Confident in your ability meeting my willingness.
Day 2, morning pages complete. Writing more like process than performance.