The irony of waiting is that it does not mean doing nothing at all. It means not doing things you know are not yours to do, things like anxiously putting yourself in places that might bring notice, like checking to see if a painting sold when you know you’ll find out at the already established time, it’s not calling four times when the caller shouldn’t be you but from the one you’re set to hear back from.
What waiting is, is knowing God is working and you keep moving you don’t sit still.
You move unburdened because you know He knows.
You left it with Him.
It’s a glorious walk that becomes a free run on a day all of a sudden you notice you’re not as heavy as before, oh, again you can run.
And so you run with music in your soul and your ears. You run. You run as you wait for your triumph to unfold.
I believe God is pleased that we think of Him, ponder, consider His ways.
“Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice?”
Proverbs 8:1 NIV
That’s just another example of His grace.
I believe God sees our gradual growth and celebrates rather than pontificates over why on earth has it taken her so long to arrive here, why can’t she stay in this place?
I believe God is simply happy to see our return, our return to believing that He knows.
I’m certain that morning is the most optimum time for gentle instruction.
I’ve not a clue as to why I woke up this morning with the question to myself.
How are you waking, with regret or redemption?
Why, oh why must I wake with such deep considerations?
Or maybe we all do, just keep them to ourselves.
Makes good sense, your brain filters your thoughts all through the night, transfers them to the place where the finished and important product, a lesson is delivered.
Voila’! Here you go! This message is just for you! God
Are you smiling now, imagining God saying “Voila'”?
I think sometimes I think the oddest things and then realize there is always a reason.
A secret waiting to be revealed.
To be researched, to be determined what it is exactly God wants me to know, to hold on to as my own.
Wants me to u-turn, don’t go back that way, you were progressing, see now…stay here.
Be at peace.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV
Someone called this morning by accident. Her Bluetooth dialed the wrong Lisa. I knew her voice, thought Lord have mercy, did I call her and forget I did?!
But, I hadn’t and she reminded me of our relationship which led to me telling her what I’m doing now, hoping to use my grant writing skills to work with causes I believe in.
And that led to her telling me she had “chills” now because of an idea she has to strengthen the cause she is over.
We talked about it further and even longer about our faith, about how God wakes us to new opportunities every day and how none of them are accidents.
I considered her truth.
She considered mine as I shared with her my waking thought, regret or redemption, which will you choose to frame your day?
She said “Oh, that’s wise.” “Thanks”, I said and thought, thank you God for this confirmation of my next steps and direction.
Of letting some things go unattended to give my energy to what is new, even unseen, sort of brewing.
So, what is this state of mind and heart called “spiritual maturity”?
It is waking with regret less often in light of your redemption.
It is waking with the clear and attainable path towards peace.
It is recalling the stuff you felt God telling you to do afraid even if there’s fear in the room because there’s a reason you don’t know that God wants you to go, to be something He sees as necessary for others in the room.
He has us go places we don’t understand.
It is being attentive to a nudge that becomes a lengthy pause because you are still enough to become more wise, to receive either good or disappointing clarity so that your peace is not stolen and so that you grow.
That’s redemption, my friend.
Understanding what it is that is the taker of and opposing force of your peace.
Spiritual maturity is a splendid and secretly personal gift.
It is a fervent fire inside kept alive by your yearning to learn more, know more of God.
It is an acknowledgment of better days, contented minds, and restful nights because of your redemptive choice to forgo regret.
It is knowing you are still growing. It is glimpses of the secret place, the view of you through God’s eyes.
It is not always easy, nor is it difficult at all.
The secret for me, intentional choosing which thoughts I allow to write scary, hurtful and impossible to understand stories.
“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
Romans 8:6 ESV
To set my mind on the awakening things of my mornings.
Lord, help me to stay quiet enough to know which way to stay my thoughts and which way my words and work should go. Because of your redemptive mercy towards me, Amen
I cannot explain the way or the why of how this happens; but, it happens with regularity and it happens suddenly with slow unraveling upon my waking to begin a day.
I woke up and found myself curious over the word “consecrate”.
“God understands the way to it, and he knows its place.”
Job 28:23 ESV
Yesterday evening I adjusted my route. The breeze was without a thick heat and the trees were swaying only slightly as if escorting the predicted storm away.
Gently. Not today.
I’ve been walking this way for most of my grown up life. My saying, “unraveling the day” is an explanation that is for me, succinct.
A great day was Saturday, no other way to describe the time. A college graduation, a daughter and son and family together. It was truly celebratory, memorable like no other before.
I am in between things.
Now waiting for the any moment call, it’s time for baby, we are on our way to the hospital.
We will be grandparents.
I’ve told people when speaking of my resignation after ten years that I’ve got lots of “balls in the air” and that I’m hoping to establish a rhythm, get into a “mojo” of work from home.
Soon I’ll be helping with a baby and still working in some way, using what I’ve learned and hoping to combine it with my faith to help others while gaining just enough income.
Yes, this has been my response to interested individuals who are either thrilled for my new role or who question what on earth is she thinking…no income, no position, no dependable check every month?
I’ve been stuffing it down. People who are skeptics, people who have no faith in leaps of faith like this.
I walked yesterday and saw the sun making shadows on the open field now overgrown with high grass and weeds with fluffed up looking tops reminding me of lace, tiny yellow buds here and there.
I always pause. God is near.
Agree with God and be at peace. Job 22:21
I like the way God lays His light down in layers. Different all the time, different prompts and patterns.
I continued and thought to jog but didn’t.
Felt no need for further self-punishment.
I walked on and changed my path to circle back uphill through every single shady cul de sac.
There was no rush, I took the back way and reversed my pattern, uphill first then downhill the rest of the way on the trail.
The evening drawing nearer as I stepped over the roots forcing through the hard pavement trail, I paused in front of my favorite field and noticed a dandelion.
The sunlight landed on its little circle of soft peach fuzzy head. It stood alone in the high tangle of weeds.
I’m certain it was for me.
I stepped forward, walked with renewed conviction.
I’ll just get up the same way every morning and make each day my vocation.
I’ll go about my day with intentionality and pursuit of God’s ways.
My first journal entry, May 6th?
An intentional life, my prayer.
Clarity – where to go, what to do, to create, to initiate
Commitment – go there and see it through, finish what you begin.
Consecrated- do all of it for God.
I’m not a biblical scholar.
I happen upon wise words and want to understand them, want to have them make me more than what I see, what tiny bit I know of me, I seek to solve the mysteries of me.
To consecrate means to make or declare something holy, to a higher purpose, even a divine one.
Is it possible that all I do means more than a finish, the attainment of a goal, an outcome resulting from input, the result of my knowledge and hands?
It is possible if we believe we are loved by God, created for more than what we can see.
God understands the way to it, this consecrated daily life.
He knows how to make new wine of our old bitter tastes.
He desires to make us vessels of new.
Consecrated is a word mostly found in the Old Testament, difficult to understand, ritualistic often and sometimes about laws and food deemed unfit.
I considered what if I thought of all I do a return of my grace for God’s grace towards me.
What if I returned to God His investment in me through my investment of all I do for Him, a divine ROI?
Perhaps deciding to do everything from a place of love in light of grace bestowed me makes consecration easier to understand.
For it is grace that brought me thus far and grace that has and will lead me on.
Grace like a phone call just now to arrange a meeting, a program seeking my grantwriting knowledge to discuss my alignment with their mission becoming more understood and known.
A phone call I thought might come yet did not with certainty know.
An opportunity no longer hanging up in the air, a ball clutched in the palm of my hand now captive with the possibility to be divinely pursued, my work through God’s hands and my prayer.
A clear expression of God’s love for me in this place of uncertainty layered thickly with faith.
Be persuaded, timid soul, that He has loved you too much to cease loving you. Francois de la Mothe Fe’nelon
I asked God to help me understand what it means to live consecrated and he led me to the Book of Job, a chronicle of a good and godly man who was met by trouble and tragedy that made absolutely no sense at all.
Job never stopped believing in a God that knew all. Job lived a consecrated life, refused to trade his understanding of it all for the possibility of losing what He knew, God.
“For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds,”
Job 33:14-15 ESV
I’m paying more attention to my morning thoughts, less prone to reach for my phone or to jump up quickly from my bed.
There are important and enlightening ways for me to go, not rushing, more resting.
Waiting for His clarity to guide my committed pursuit and to follow His lead, with intentional steps towards what might help someone, less haphazard, though ever imperfect, my pursuit of Holy and divine.
Every morning, grace comes my way and I am learning to listen.
Prompted me to know I’ll be put in places I might be afraid to go.
I will go.
God will be with me.
It’s gonna be okay.
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to pray the prayer for families at this evening’s National Day of Prayer event. I was asked I was told because of my lifetime of working with families.
I do not know what my prayer will be. I am imperfect in my own family experiences. I could freeze as I’m introduced, thinking what if everyone knows how I haven’t always been a prayerful girl, mama, wife or woman? I could have the words choke me when I try to summon them up. I’ve been a single mama, not always the best one at it.
But, just like Lauren, God sets the stage, we just step forward.
About a month ago, I was interviewed by a local magazine about my choice to retire. The question was posed “What do you want your grandchild to know?”
I want my grandchild to know that the most important thing is love, is loving one another.
A couple of weeks later the request came, that I pray the prayer for families. It was followed by a letter with the agenda and the header on the letter featuring 2019’s theme.
Love one another.
There are no accidents with God.
There are no opportunities brought our way that He will not equip us to carry out.
You and I are loved by a loving God. A God that takes hold of our shaking hand until we can breath without pressure and waits until we are ready to speak, to sing, to pray.
A friend is praying that God would give me memory.
I’ve lost something I haven’t needed in years and I cannot find it, my college diploma.
Yesterday, my pregnant daughter asked if I remembered a certain pain and I didn’t, so I blamed it on one thing I did remember harshly…when it was actually another, my lack of memory,
Then told her it’s true what they say.
You don’t remember the pain once your baby is here.
I’m wondering if my friend’s prayers are stirring my memories as a whole, of all sorts of things.
I woke with first thought, prayer.
God, help me to know you more.
There are disjointed possibilities in my life, a new one popped up yesterday. I gotta circle back around, finish multiple things, my mind and plans chaotic over stuff begun and not finished
My thoughts are all over the place.
I make the coffee, open the door for fresh air and I remember.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5 ESV
An elderly couple lived below us, my younger brother and me. We were not quiet apartment dwellers. We were single and in our 20’s. We frequented “River Street” in Savannah and found our way back home safely, how?
God only knows.
I watched them on Sundays, they’d come and go clutching Bibles, holding hands.
I avoided them in my comings and goings until one day in the stairwell, I came face to face with the husband, a sharply dressed gentleman.
I asked, “How can I know God’s will?”
He answered simply, “Know God.”
That was two decades ago and his answer left me hanging, left me lacking not longing. I wanted so much more than an answer so broad.
I desired a quick list or an easy plan.
I wanted it “one and done” for me, quickly fix me, God, I know you can!
Perfection, I yearned for, had no understanding of grace, God’s patience, His allowance of progression.
How in the world could we imagine God’s will as only quick when, after all, He has us and the whole world in His hands? He orders our seconds, minutes, hours and days. Their unfolding, He knows.
I understand the simplicity yet mystery now.
His pursuit of me is graceful and grace-filled.
There’s no end road to knowing God’s will.
It is a beautiful unraveling, a revealing of splendor and clarity and abundance as we go.
As we go unaffected by our daze and confusion only illumined by His spirit, His dwelling within us.
How do we know God’s will? I believe we remain quietly intent in our pursuit of Him.
He knows. Just ask Him.
God is everywhere. Don’t forget to notice. me
Linking up today with others at Five Minute Friday who are writing on the prompt “Lack”. https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/04/11/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-lack/