I woke to sounds of nothing. Certain it’s 3:00 a.m. but, I must not look to see. Lie still, adjust quietly, pray, wander your mind, turn this way or that.
This night time thing that I refuse to accept, this pain that is mean and creepy and wakes me up, an angry spasm.
Try this, try that.
What on earth is a rotator cuff, anyway? I’m a stubborn woman. Do not like meds. Do not favor surgery. I will fix this off kilter place in my arm. I know I can.
Try not doing this, not doing that.
Yesterday was splendid, I laid there and thought.
The weather, the walk, the determined abandonment to art that’d been promised.
Colt, unleashed, ran ahead and looked back to be sure of my follow.
Two grown geese courting mid pond, took their time swimming away, no worries, we’ll take flight if need be.
Big happy dog swam towards them and they flirted just slightly ahead. He came when I called. His hip, knocked out of place by car, before we found him having been discarded by another,
mIght hold him back, might fling out of socket, a crazy thing.
I called him back, worried he might get too far, refusing to accept he was not as able as he hoped.
Yesterday was splendid.
He turned from the geese, close to the other side and with slowly ummph-like movements, he emerged and stood with me on the bank.
He shook, looked back, shook again and we climbed the big hill back towards the road.
Keeping him close, we strolled and paused, strolled and paused. I patted his head and said. “It’s a good day, Colt” two, three, maybe four times. Oddly happy over my talking to him and knowing he heard, I said it again.
Thinking, how beautiful a day, to be taught by a dog and to be noticed by another.
Someone surprised me and said, “You’re a very good writer.” and I replied “Thank you so very much.” hoping they knew their significance in my newly and decidedly splendid day.
I woke today, had been waiting.
I heard, finally, the morning. Dark still but, the birds beginning to sing.
Made my way for ibuprofen, caffeine and quiet meeting with birds and Bible.
“It’s a good day.” I thought.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3 : 22 – 23