“Do you know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of him who is perfect in knowledge…?”
Job 37:16 ESV
There are countless things I do not know.
I’m afraid my need to know overshadows my trust in the one I say I know.
Some may say it is so, that when evening comes, my morning proclamations fade and my trust might be pretend.
I told my husband I’d be happy if it rained all day today. Something ’bout a day filled with rain makes some things more permissible.
Rest, and not obsessing over lack or just a nod saying,
retreat, gather your thoughts and get ready
continue the redirection you started and then allowed your feet and faith to falter.
Know who you are and acknowledge the tendency towards the former, adjust your sails, begin again.
We go slow sometimes in our going towards good, our turning from old to new.
Someone I know loves to look towards the sky. Me too, like her, more now than before.
Yesterday, the clouds were massive. God was very near.
I couldn’t look away, wished now I’d thought to lie out my grandma’s quilt on the ground and do nothing but stare.
Fixing my gaze on heaven not my weighty frame as I laid there, caring about nothing other than clouds.
It would have been heavenly, a little heaven on my tiny space of earth.
It would have and will be, more than enough.
The atmosphere is changing now. The spirit of the Lord is here.
The evidence is all around…
Here as in Heaven, Elevation Music
I get so very distracted, forgetting how far I’ve come.
“Lord, help me be present.”
This morning, I’m four chapters away from finishing the Book of Job.
Chapter 37 has a prophet detailing God’s majesty yet again to Job.
Reminding him God is God and he is not.
We are not.
“For to the snow he says, ‘Fall on the earth,’ likewise to the downpour, his mighty downpour.”
Job 37:6 ESV
In Chapter 38, God gives further reply.
“Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you?
Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you, ‘Here we are’? Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?
Who can number the clouds by wisdom? Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens,”
Job 38:34-37 ESV
Job accepted not knowing.
Job knew God knew.
I’m reading a book now that I’ve set aside, glanced towards to return to and on purpose placed it next to me with pencil for marking.
Its message for me, at first wonderful to know, I guess now seems too wonderful for me to know, to live.
You see, I know it is for me, still so hard to grasp less fleetingly, the knowledge of my need to let God be my full focus.
The day before the author autographed her book, I had committed to a change of perspective.
Told myself, memorizing the order…
Knowing full well, for far too long it has been about me, my lack or my striving to be worthy.
That author asked my name, her smile met me and then her eyes for a second more when I replied, “Lisa Anne”.
And the sharpie message to me remains.
The book, a response to a pieces falling apart time in her own life, “I Want God- Forever Changed by the Revival of Your Soul”.
I’m only through Chapter One, because I dance the dance of too much to know and too long I have not known.
Commit or continue on the same.
This is why we must want this with our whole heart and not just know in our head we need it. We can be told a million times over that we should want God, but our flesh will convince us every time it is a lie.
So it then comes down to the ache and the longing of what we want more.
Gradually, I am wanting more, my eyes turn from the mirror reflecting a haphazard pursuit and I look inward to His spirit in me.
More often now, the reflection is radiant.
As I look up and attentively within, compelled more towards my heaven than my earth.
My atmosphere is changing now.
The spirit of the Lord is here.