confidence, courage, eating disorder, Faith, Peace, Prayer, Redemption, rest, Teaching, Uncategorized, Vulnerability

Hello June and coffee, black.

Strong, yes, coffee and I!

Today, I’m doing something new because I was close to returning to something old.

I’ve never been to the Krispy Kreme, the new one in town. Everybody goes and today being called “Donut Day” and makin’ it nationwide, the line’ll be backed out on the busy street.

This is a place that had police directing traffic for about a week when they opened grandly.


I’ve never even been, I boasted with an air of pride and obvious sense of accomplishment that I had not gone crazy over the doughy glazed delights.


Instead, I was whippin’ my car back towards home, one hand in my Chick-Fil-A kid’s meal bag and the other on the wheel.

I had my nuggets strategically in my lap and the little sweet sauce restin’ in the middle, dipping and driving, crammin’ waffle fries in my mouth.

But, hey I never stopped for donuts.

Women and food. Women and wine. Women and secrets.

Eating in the car, eating only lettuce, driving through drive-thrus and bags hidden under our seats or declining dinner, no, I’m not really hungry then tearing into bags of salty things washed down with red wine or water or Coke, or thick chunky peanut butter on thick bread washed down with cold milk…

Food, drink, secret indulgences, everything eventually not ever in moderation.

Feast or famine, go with or completely without.

Occasionally gettin’ close to being mocked by my choices.

Then gettin’ shamed, then again gettin’ strong!

We “git right”.

Today, I begin a new thing. I have had one cup of coffee, no cream, and no sugar.

I’ve read the book. I’ve bought the journal to help me track the challenge. I am doing the Whole30 reset.

I’ve seen the recipes. I’m prepared with my shopping list.

I’m praying I’ll be disciplined and the self-discipline will be the greatest challenge.

You see, I, maybe you, a woman with a whole lot on her plate and on her mind, I am courted by the fancy comforts of indulgence.

I’m coaxed into believing some things I just deserve.

I’m not hoping now, for weight loss or for even, a glowing complexion.

I’m hoping, in 30 days I’ll have stayed on track, won’t need a redo and that I will return to a place of health and wellness I haven’t known in too long a time

That I’ll not return to the places I went before, secret eating, secret living.

So, hello June and coffee, black.

I’m ready, 30 Days, Whole.

My prayer,

God, help me be disciplined. Help me return more closely to me and to thee.

“A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A temple for you, my body.

Least I can do is maintain it…keep it clean and untainted by secret ingredients.

The place where my treasure lives, I’m believing it’s gonna begin to be more clear.

Honest and true, disciplined anew.

Maybe you too.

I’m prompted by the word “Return” which originally had me thinking I’ll just tell how I’m hoping to return my body to health.

I’m returning to rest.

“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15 ESV

I’m afraid it’s impossible for me to write “unbravely”.

Lord help me; but, I have a hard time not telling my story,

my healing from disorder, eating and other.

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